Wednesday, January 8, 2014

living in the in-between

my dear Winnie Dixon / black pine & elm / aster seed heads / snow plow mountains / handsome Samuel / a crow / the salt mine in the distance / back yard buddies Sam & Winn / the snow plows getting the roads tiered & ready for the next dump of snow / love her 

This too shall pass

Hakim Sanai

The prayer of the faith full. My prayer. My mantra. My comfort. 
For nothing ever stays the same. 
& I know that to be true … I just forget that I know it.

Winnie turns 15 Friday. I adopted her 14 years ago. She's been having a hard time lately, her body's having a hard  time. Her spirit is still alive and full of love & devotion. Her appetite (especially for cat food ;-) is great ! she sleeps well, she has good days & sound nights, snoring loudly in her bed in our bedroom but her poor arthritic back legs and hind end are not co-operating. This #?*%!! winter is not co-operating. This winter sucks. It's bitter cold and extremely icy interspersed with drifting heaps of snow. Not good for arthritic lil' old legs & trepidation with every step.  We have a trip tomorrow planned to our vet Dianne Stevens in Sackville, NB. Dianne has been our vet (les gang's vet) for nearly 20 years, practically the entire time I've lived in this little village. I'm hoping things will go well. I'm hoping for some good news, some reassurance & some comfort. I trust Dianne. 

I'm living in the in-between times. In between loving and caring for a younger healthy dog and bracing myself for the preparation and pain of letting her go. Letting her go. Letting her leave. Letting Miss D say goodbye when the time is right for her, not when the time is right for me because of course the time will never be right for me. It may be soon … or maybe we have lots more time. I'm trying to become more comfortable living in the lands of in-between. Trying to snuggle into my new favourite cozy sweater - faith. Being full of faith that the Universe has things covered, that I can let down my vigilance & control and relax into these in-between times.

He knew how to handle pain. You had to lie down with pain, not draw back away from it. You let yourself sort of move around the outside edge of pain like with cold water until you finally got up your nerve to take yourself in hand. Then you took a deep breath and dove in and let yourself sink down it clear to the bottom. And after you had been down inside pain a while you found that like with cold water it was not nearly as cold as you had thought it was when your muscles were cringing themselves away from the outside edge of it as you moved around it trying to get up your nerve. He knew pain.

James Jones from Here to Eternity


  1. Happy birthday to the lovely Winnie. I hope Dianne gives you some optimism to attach to your faith. I am having the exact same experience with Riley. It breaks my heart when he tries to jump onto my bed and doesn't quite make it, falling to the floor. I notice the unsure footing and trembling in his rear legs. But, I just had him down the river road and he was running like a pup. As long as he continues doing what he loves all is good.
    I didn't realize you had that much snow! Your photos look like N. Ontario. We are so ready for the upcoming milder temps this weekend but the predicted rain sounds like a bit of a mess.
    Safe travels to NB.

  2. Thank you BH & love & kisses to dear Riley from all of us.
    She's much better inside so it could just be the cold and ice ??
    I hope so

  3. Wishing Winnie a Happy Birthday Friday! Cold weather gets to the best of us plagued with arthritis or whatever 'itis it is! I know I am a running a little a stiffer. It so wonderful to have a vet that you put your complete trust in. I had one for many years until he retired and I have found another wonderful lady that I have a lot of "Faith" in and I am so grateful I found her! It makes all the difference in the world when you are putting your pet in their hands.

    Your world looks mighty cold and beautiful. We have felt the arctic blast here in NC the past few days. I love snow and ours comes and then it gone, though we have had a few hefty snows through the years. No snow this time just cold temps.

    I asked before about your camera and it's on the other blog. Please tell me what it is again and I shall write it down in my wish book!!! Lovely pictures that depict a beautiful spot on the planet! Hope all goes well with Winnie!

  4. Hi Galestorm if you look at the older posts (first 5 posts) on this blog they are all about my photography and specifically about my camera here

    Not having suffered from arthritis it may be just that as she's a different dog when she's inside and very much her usual self. I'm hoping that maybe that's all it is - this particularly extreme awful winter.
    xoxox Susan & les Gang

  5. I hope dearest Winnie gets a good health report from the vet. I know you do everything possible to keep her in good health and comfort, has your vet suggested omega3/fish oil for her arthritis...just a thought dear Susan.
    I have arthritis in my knee from an injury, it is painful and I need a knee replacement, the fish oil definitely helps while I wait for the surgery, it also has other health benefits.
    Happy Birthday to dear Winnie, I hope you are having a party and big celebration.
    Beautiful images of snow covered trees, seed pods, the crow and Winnie and Sam, it all looks so glorious, the white and the blue of the sky.
    Love to all, Dianne
    xoxoxo ♡